dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
