god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
