Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
