i permit you to call me
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm really busy with my period
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