I must be too annoying 4 u.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
