sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize