Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
