Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
