Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
