so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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