I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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