just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
