mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
