Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
