I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
