Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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