i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
