no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
