dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
