Your face is a jimmy john
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
