I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
