It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
