he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He felt like a one man threesome
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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