I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
