Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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