I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
