It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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