Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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