I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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