We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
