saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
