I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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