So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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