I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
