Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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