belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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