Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
