she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
