You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
