If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
