I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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