Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
vagina is talking i cant
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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