I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize