of course. lets lasso hookers.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
