If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
