toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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