o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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