I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
