Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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