i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
