you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
