he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
