Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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