JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
