K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
