**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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