So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize