I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
