don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
