Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize