meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
