I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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