There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
These tits shall not be calmed
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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