Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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