I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Acid is not a monday night drug
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
