Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize