Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
