Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize