Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
